Depression

You know. I thought that this world was all over the issues of, oh look you're different, you don't look like me, you have a different color of skin, you don't learn like i do, why can't you hear me? is something wrong with you? Sadly, I'm horribly wrong. We are not past that at all! I'm quite disgusted to say that I am part of the human race. We are disgusting individuals. We see someone that is overweight, and we automatically place the label on them that they are "lazy" or they "eat too much" or whatever else you want to say, but the thought doesn't come across your mind that they have tried, or they physically can't exercise, or that they have a condition that prevents them from doing anything to lose weight. We see someone that is handicapped, and we place the label of, "retard" "stupid" "idiot" but nothing could be farther from the truth. They are some of the most gifted people on the face of this planet. They are the most compasionate people I have ever met! They are so understanding and completely forgiving. If you gave them the courtesy of giving them a while to get to know them you'd love them. Which brings me to my point. Where I've been wronged. I've decided not to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints. I feel like this is my decision. If I went out I wouldn't be going out for me. I would be going for those around me. I wouldn't want to be there. I would be hating life, even tho I know I would be doing the right thing. Because I'm not going people look at me and say to themselves that "I must not be worthy" or that "I'm not really a member of the church" or whatever else they want to say about me. But nothing could be farther from the truth. "every member a missionary." You don't have to go out on a mission, to be a missionary. I believe in this strongly. Not everyone is meant to serve a mission. I know they are a wonderful thing, and that some people are meant to serve. I for the lack of better words, lack the desire. I haven't grown up my whole life knowing that I want to go, I haven't known since I was little that I am going to serve, like some people. Judge me if you want to. But i know that what I do is between me and God, and that I don't have to answer to anyone down here for my decisions. God is going to love me for who I am, and that is enough for me. If you can't love me for who I am. Then I don't want to call you a friend anyway.